She's the Man He's the Woman
by hopping-bunny
Summary: Ino has hots for Yuuki who's really Sakura who's fallen for Sasuke who likes Katea who's really Sai who only crossdressed to get Neji who's to marry Hinata who likes Naruto who's in love with Sakura who's hated by Karin who's Sasuke's girlfriend.Uh oh.


_**She's the man, He's the woman**_

* * *

_**Ino has hots for Yuuki who's really Sakura who's fallen for Sasuke who likes Katea who's really Sai who's only crossdressed to get Neji who's to marry Hinata who's crushing on Naruto who's in love with Sakura who's hated by Karin who's Sasuke's girlfriend**_

* * *

_**Neji hates Sai**_

_**Who cross dresses as Katea to get Neji**_

_**But Sasuke falls for Katea**_

_**While dating Karin**_

_**While Sakura crushes on Sasuke**_

_**While Naruto falls for Sakura**_

_**While Hinata crushes on Naruto**_

_**So Neji has to marry Hinata**_

_**While Ino falls for Yuuki**_

_**Who is a cross-dressed Sakura attending a private school for boys**_

_**Only to have Shikamaru jealous**_

_**who goes after Satsuki**_

_**Who really is a crossed dressed Sasuke**_

_**Who is pretending to be Kakashi's daughter**_

_**Because he owes him**_

* * *

"I'm sorry Sakura, but this is all I can teach you. You are one of the best Medic-Nins that the world has ever seen. But I want you to expand your knowledge and skills further so that you'll one day surpass me." 

"Tsunade-shishou. You are requesting me to join a medical school.." It was a statement, not a question.

"That's right Sakura. I have requested some of my former colleagues who now teach in prestigious schools to consider accepting you—"

"No need Tsunade-shishou. I have been accepted into the largest and most prestigious school there is for learning about medical jutsus. I was anticipating this talk soon, and so I took precautions." Tsunade, uncaring of how Sakura interrupted her, smiled down at her apprentice. She was above smart.

"Oh? The Konoha medical academy for girls? It is quite prestigious. I would have gone there myself when I was younger if my brother hadn't—" She cut off there, here eyes turning hollow for a second before turning back.

"Congratulations!"

"Actually shishou." Sakura said, waiting for her mentor to return from the painful memories "I have researched, and currently, that is not the best school for further medical knowledge."

"Oh?" Tsunade seemed surprised. "Which school is it Sakura?"

"I'd prefer to keep it a secret until I graduate Tsunade-shishou." Sakura's tone warned Tsunade's senses, and she wisely didn't ask.

* * *

"Oh Neji, Oh Neji, I love you with all of my life." 

"Oh Neji, oh Neji, someday I'll make you my wife." Sai recited his poem to Neji, his wide smile never faltering. Neji twitched in the chair. He would've been past the Hokage mountains in a second after seeing Sai if he hadn't snuck up on him and tied him up.

"Oh Neji-kun." Neji twitched again. "I'm sorry things have to turn out this way, but every time I spot you, you disappear!" Neji glared at Sai.

"It is almost as if you're trying to avoid me!" Sai's smile sugared a bit more. "I hope this works. Dog-face told me that poems usually work out well with the one you like."

Neji was going to seriously kill himself after this.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say.  
Behold me, and tell me if you like what you see. " Sai placed a hand on Neji's cheek.

"Tell me, what you like in other men, too,  
but don't compare us. _We're different._" He whispered the last part in Neji's ear.

He shuddered in disgust.

"I am NOT gay!"

"That's what you think.." Sai's eyes gleamed. "Neji-kun."

Using a large burst of chakra, he broke free from the ropes and shoved Sai far, far, far away from him, then he stormed out of the room. Sai just smirked, Neji was going to be back, whether he liked Sai or not. 5 seconds later, Neji stormed back into the room again.

"See Neji-kun, I knew you were going to be back, I just knew it!" Sai took a step closer to Neji, trying to hug him. Good thing Neji had fast reflexes and moved to the left quickly.

"Sai, I'm going to say this again because I _don't_ care. I am NOT gay! The only reason I came back is because...because...how the hell do you get out of here?"

"Oh, but Neji-kun, you _can't_ get out of here!" Sai seemed a bit _too_ overjoyed at this.

A dark aura spread across Neji and his eyes gleamed with malice.

"You tell me or you die." Sai opened his mouth to protest. "I don't care if you're a fellow shinobi anymore." He shot Sai a look saying _I. Will. Kill. You._

Sai did a few handseals, his face now emotionless. "There."

Neji grit his teeth. He _hated_ this guy. "Thank you." But he _was_ a Hyuuga after all.

* * *

"Hi Sasuke-kun! You're late for our date!" Karin squealed while waving at a drowsy Sasuke. 

"Hn..."

"Oh come on! What do you want to do, hmmm?" Karin ran to Sasuke and gave him a kiss on his cheek that Sasuke immmediatly wiped off.

"Karin, look, just because we're dating, doesn't mean you can just cling on to me like that. Now move." Sasuke almost shoved Karin off.

"But Sasuke..." Karin whined.

"Don't whine, let's go." Sasuke took off without even waiting for Karin.

"Oi! Teme!" a loud voice rang through the streets of Konoha, alerting everybody of the blond jinchuuriki.

"Dobe." Sasuke raised his head in acknowledgement.

"Did you forget? Kakashi-sensei told us to meet him at the bridge today!" Naruto screamed at him, obviously agitated.

"He said it was something really really important!" Naruto smirked. "And that could mean an A-class mission teme!"

"But we have a date. Can't you go a little later? It won't matter if you're like thirty minutes late or something right? Its just a team meeting." Her arrogance emitted off of her in large quantities.

"Well, _Karin._ _Of course its just a team meeting." _those words were said with dripping annoyance._ "_But Sasuke-kun needs _some_ excuse to ditch you, and this seems to be the one that's right in front of him" A new feminine voice joined the conversation.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto bounced over to her.

"Let's go Sasuke. We don't want to be _late _and make our sensei wait do we?" Her smirk didn't go unnoticed by Karin.

"Well, of course. It would be disrespectful if you made your sensei wait." Karin replied through grit teeth. "I'll see you later Sasuke."

Nobody bothered to tell her about Kakashi and his habits as she stomped away.

* * *

They walked side by side, no one going faster, no one lacking behind. Sakura yawned. 

"Long day Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked smiling.

"Way too long." Sakura smiled back.

"Anything special?" It was a routine to have a conversation like this on their way to the bridge. They were getting better since there was no screeching and chidori's being activated in their recent meetings.

"Oh yea. I forgot to tell you guys. I'm joining a medical school." That snapped both Naruto and Sasuke's attention towards her.

"What?" His voice wavered. Was their team going to split up again? "But..But..You're one of the best medical ninjas in the world!" Naruto excalimed, his arms flailing around to try to get his point across.

"That's right Naruto." She basked in the compliment for a moment before moving on. "But I want to be the best. Not one of the best." She could feel Sasuke's attention shift more to her and she smirked inwardly. That line was what Sasuke had been stressing through his actions ever since she had met him. He had always not aimed for _one_ of the best,but _the_ best.

**_Hell YEA! WHO is he gonna call weak NOW?? And, Oh GOD he's STARING SAKURA!! Get yourself together, you need to look good in front of him. Make him wanna ditch Karin and come to you!! _**

Inner Sakura was ranting. Sakura flushed under Sasuke's intense stare, but he turned back the instant it showed on her face. She could feel him roll his eyes and scowled.

**_GOD! WHAT does it take to get this guy?! WHAT does Karin have that WE don't??! _**

She was so busy listening to inner Sakura rage that she almost missed Naruto's next line.

"So..you have to leave the team?" Naruto's dissapointment was not well hidden and both of them caught it in his tone.

"N-No! Of course not Naruto!" She flashed him a smile. She knew what the team meant to him. It meant the same to her as well.

"It's just, I'll only be coming on missions that are B-ranked or above. If it's C or D ranked, you guys can do it yourself."

"Oh." He still looked dissapointed.

"This is only for a year Naruto. You don't have to worry." They reached the bridge and Sasuke automatically went straight to leaning on the railing while Naruto perched himself on top of it, squating. Sakura remained in the middle of the bridge with her arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan do you want to--"

"No Naruto. I don't want to go on a date with you. I'm busy." She sighed and closed her eyes. "Maybe you can go with Sasuke-kun."

She could hear Naruto choke. "You're joking right? Me?? On a date with teme!? Why would I want to go with someone so stupid?"

"Look who's talking." Sasuke grunted back.

Sakura smiled.

_Just like old times. _

"Alright Alright." Kakashi's voice rang. "Break it up already."

"Woah sensei! You're only fourty minutes late today! What's the occasion?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

What? He glanced down at his watch. He was only fourty minutes late? He was sure that he was at least and hour late...

_Hmm..Must be losing track of time. _

_Or growing old._

He sighed.

"Well, let's get to the point. Since Sasuke's recent return, many things have changed. And Sakura, I heard from Tsunade-sama that you are joining a medical school?" Sakura nodded.

"The reason I called for this meeting is because-" Kakashi was interrupted by Naruto, big surprise...

"Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! You want us to go on an A-class mission with danger, and I'll have to save the day, right? Right? Right, sensei?" Naruto jumped up and down.

"No, Naruto. This is just to clarify things up. Tsunade-sama has informed me that she "lied" to the village claiming that Sasuke did not betray everyone, but was on a secret mission to kill Orochimaru. So then, Sasuke, be sure to thank Tsunade-sama when you have the chance. Meeting adjourned."

"Hn..."

"What?! That's it? I stopped eating ramen for this?!!!" Naruto screamed.

"Bye Kakashi-senei!" Sakura walked away, dissapointed as well but not showing it, and Naruto immediately followed.

"Oh wait, Sasuke, stay...we need to...talk." Kakashi turn towards the wood, signaling Sasuke to follow.

"Well, see you later Sasuke-kun." He grunted back in repsonse.

"Sakura-chan! Will you go ou--"

"No Naruto."

"but but..you didn't even know what I was going--"

"Just shut up Naruto."

"But Sakura-"

"Na-Ru-To!"

"Okay.." he sighed in defeat.

* * *

"Kakashi, what do you want?" Sasuke grunted. 

"Well Sasuke, how are things since you got back?"

"Fine...why do you ask?"

"Well, just checking, because things are going to get bad." Kakashi smirked.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Sasuke raised his voice, and clenched his fits.

"Calm down, I'm not going to fight you, but...I heard that you're interested in getting the Mangekyou Sharingan, is that correct?" Sasuke's eyes widened, and flashed his sharingan. Kakashi raised his foreahead protector from his eye. He simply blinked, and flashed his _Mangekyou_ sharingan.

"Wha-? How did you..." Sasuke's voice trailed off...Kakashi's smirk just got wider.

"You want to know where I got this, don't you?"

"What's the catch?" Sasuke sneered.

"I need you to do me something, and maybe I'll consider showing you the secret to getting the Mangekyou sharingan." Kakashi's visible eye crinkled with hidden malice. "Without this, you have **_no chance_** of getting _**revenge**_ do you?" Sasuke growled at Kakashi's words.

"You see, I've always wanted a daughter.." Kakashi's visible features showed sadness. "But I never did get married.." He sighed loudly.

"What's this got to do with me?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Kakashi's antics. Either he was a _really_ good actor, or this was real.

"Oh, but Sasuke, its got _everything _to do with you!" Kakashi suddenly cheered up, his smile showing through his mask.

Sasuke's left eye twitched. He _knew_ he was not going to like this.

"You see, I've decided that I've found my long lost daughter Satsuki!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"You've _decided_ to **what**?" Sasuke was confused.

"Welcome home Sasuke-_chan_!" Kakashi's grin was practically stretching past his mask. "Oh, I mean, _Satsuki-chan_."

_Revenge is **sweet. **_(Sasuke was twitching _uncontrollably_)

* * *

Neji ran into the Hyuuga manor as fast as he can and slammed the door right behind him. 

_Click _- First lock

_Click - _Second lock

_Phew_... safe at last

"Neji..." A gloomy voice called for him inside the main house. _Shoot, _Neji thought, _I'm not out of trouble yet..._

"Yes...Hiashi-sama?"

"Come in, we have important business to discuss." Neji stepped into the main house and took a seat across Hiashi Hyuuga. "What do you know of Uzamaki Naruto?"

"He is a blonde haired Genin, well, is ranked a genin for now."

"Really? Is he at all, even talented?"

"...Not, in my opinion." That was a lie, but Hiashi would accept no other answer, for a Hyuuga did not respect and compliment others in his mind.

"Then what do you think his relationship with Hinata is?" Hiashi took a sip of his tea and glanced at the rather tense Neji. "Please, I just want to know how you feel about those two."

"I...think...Hinata-sama _might_ have developed a...feeling...towards him." Neji stared at the floor, not daring to look up.

"So I've thought." Hiashi simply sighed. "Uzumaki Naruto is not fit to be acknowledged into the Hyuuga house hold."

"Yes sir." Neji stared at the elder man very confused.

"But let's put that to the side and get back to you. The reason I called you here is that to my understanding, you have fought hard to be accepted into the main branch," Hiashi took another sip of his tea, "And if you are willing, I have figured out a perfect way that will satisfy you and me both." Neji's gaze focused intensely (on the fly that had landed on Hiashi's head).

But he was still listening of course.

"Excuse me?"

"I need you to marry Hinata."

* * *

**_Read and Review_**

**_Thank you for reading _**

**_Hope you liked it _:**

**_(Here's a challenge, can you read the long, poem-shaped, sentence in the beginning of our story in one breath?) the one with lots of while's and who's in it.  
_**


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